My goal this weekend is to move only enough so people know I am not dead
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
We stopped looking for monsters under our bed when we realized that they were inside us
I discover myself on the verge of a usual mistake
Little science takes you away from God but more of it takes you to Him
Never discourage anyone...who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.
There has to be evil so that good can prove its purity above it
Conquer yourself rather than the world
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
