Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed
American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer.
The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it
Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry
I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping
This world is but canvas to our imaginations
The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell
Extravagance is also when a person eats whatever he wishes
Never ruin an apology with an excuse
I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies but not the madness of people
Work is the thing upon which everything else in this world depends
Comedian
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