You could not handle me even if I came with instructions
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
There is nothing more tragic than to find an individual bogged down in the length of life, devoid of breadth
Never ruin an apology with an excuse
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle
Nothing is ever too good to be true
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all
The human being is not in control of his feelings, but he is in control of his movements
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer