Don’t fall in love. Fall off a bridge, it hurts less
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them
The art of knowing is knowing what to ignore
Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be
Keep your face to the sun and you will never see the shadows
Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school
I have never considered myself a poet. I have no interest in poetic artistry
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer