My room is not messy, It is an obstacle course designed to keep me fit
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish
Death is the best teacher
I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.
I need a six month vacation, twice a year
The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn
Death and life have their determined appointments; riches and honors depend upon heaven
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer