I need a vacation that long, I forget my passwords
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
A bit of science distances one from God, but much science nears one to Him
The progressive development of man is vitally dependent on invention
The past is already gone, the future is not yet here. There’s only one moment for you to live
To make light of philosophy is to be a true philosopher
Art is the lie that enables us to realize the truth
A thousand half-loves must be forsaken to take one whole heart home
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
