I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
I can't imagine a man really enjoying a book and reading it only once
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on
I need a vacation that long, I forget my passwords
I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer